I have one purpose in life to worship allah and do my best to please allah and get out of here! Confused by the illusions of this world. The hearts that are tempted to this world. I have come to realize in this strange deliusion.. my heart does not feel alive in a world that is not real, a world that consumes my every move. A battling trigger of constant fighting trying to keep up with my prayers, doing my best to only please my creator. This has caused the yearning of craving the scent of jannah, the meeting of my creator. To officially live in happiness where I would never have to face the race of trying to cross the finish line, because in this world I will never cross it. Only in next I will be motivated to push threw, to move forward, because once the gates of jannah open I will run through them and that will be my finish line.My ultimate hope is the longing to embrace My prophet in my arms. To face my creator allah swt  knowing that he wants to face me to. To feel that great acomplishment knowing that I passed the test of this dunya. I have come to a clear understanding that my heart does not belong here. They say the heart belongs where its safe and the heart always knows. Jannah my heart awaits your eternal stay. Please allah guide me to that ultimate goal for eternal bliss far from this world. Allah says: ‘Oh mankind, indeed you are ever toiling towards your lord, painfully toiling…But you shall meet Him’ (84:6)… inshallah!

Muhammad and Abdul were the best of friends and the one action that brought them together was dawah. Subhnallah, the way they met was through a dawah experience. Muhammad was passing out flyers at an apartment complex when he saw little neon cards on people’s cars that said, “Allah=God”. This intrigued Muhammad immediately because he knew it wasn’t him, so who could it be? When Muhammad got to the edge of the complex he saw a bearded brown skinned boy at his car. He smiled and from that point on, the two were inseparable.

For two long years, they continued their dawah at complexes throughout the Brooklyn area, they had to have gone to over 150 complexes, but there was just one problem, no one had contacted them back. But alhumduiallah the two dawah addicts remained patient and changed action plans, for the next year, Muhammad and Abdul began to hit up gas stations and fast food joints, their message got to even more people, “Come to the beauty of Islam” was there hit line.

But as before, no one answered.

Both of the friends took it hard, but Abdul took it the hardest, unlike Muhammad who began his dawah in University, Abdul had begun in high school, Abdul had spent six years doing dawah and no one replied to the email address on the bottom of his flyers. One afternoon right before Jummah, Muhammad caught Abdul in his car crying. Muhammad did not want to disturb him but listened in, Abdul could not see why no one had contacted him and asked Allah to help him in his dawah, he asked Allah to fix him so that he may help guide people to Islam. He sobbed about how the world seemed to be getting more into disbelief although there are people like himself trying to guide them…

Muhammad walked away and after Jummah, he went home and made a flyer.

On Saturday morning, Abdul went out to his car and noticed a flyer poking out of windshield wiper. He opened it and read:

“And do not be grieved, [O Muhammad], by those who hasten into disbelief…”

Abdul smiled and began to think of their next plan of action.

Malik was a brainy act, he was that desi kid in your class that knew everything and answered every question out loud. He was the kid that everyone hated during class because he wouldn’t shut-up but loved when a test came around because he held his own study sessions. It didn’t matter what subject either, he breezed through his engineering classes, his math classes, and science. If it was analytical he had it in the bag. He was the atypical “A” student in college until he walked into the class room of MR.EVIL, his real name was Mr. Friendly, but he was in no way friendly.

Although Malik was a brain, he had to try to get an A in any class that didn’t have numbers or a process in solving the answers. But Malik would still breeze through the classes except this one. Mr. Evil was not only boring to listen to, his tests and quizzes had nothing to do with what he was talking about. He would speak about voting in America and the test would have questions about the pilgrims. He made History seem more pointless and useless. To say the least, Malik had to try his hardest, plus who wants to let an intro history class ruin a 4.0 GPA? NO ONE, especially Malik.

All throughout the semester Malik got B after B and if he didn’t get a B, he got a C. By the end of the semester, Malik had an 83, his heart almost dropped; he would have to make a 97 on the final exam in order to get an “A”. Malik’s highest grade on all of the tests was an 85, he would have to make 12 points more than that, and the final exam was 100 questions compared to 45 questions. The test had no extra credit like all the other tests. But Malik still strove for his “A” although all chances were against him, all odds were against him.

On testing day, Malik said “Bismillah” and “Alhumduiallah” and when he was finished he calculated that there were 75 questions he knew for sure, 15 he didn’t have full confidence in and 10 questions he didn’t know at all. Malik needed a miracle, he began to make dua that all of the extra prayers he had done that year would come to help him, all his extra fasts, all of his duas would be answered, although everything at that point was against him and the odds were slim to none.

When Malik checked his grade on the student portal, a tear ran down his cheek.

“…Know you not that Allah is able to do all things,” 2:106 

I guess you can say I was the rebellious type. My friends used to joke around and call me Rebellious Ramsey. The name fit perfectly, and I wasn’t ashamed of it. As I used to say, “I am a Muslim with no boundaries.” My uniqueness was an excuse to do whatever I want, whenever I wanted. My life was drugs and women, if I wasn’t doing one of them, I was doing the other, and I was a pretty happy guy or so I thought. But on July 4, 2008 my life would be changed forever, alhumduiallah.

I don’t know if most people know this but unlike popular beliefs, July 4^th is one of the drunkest holidays next to New Years but unlike new year, you get to drink ALL DAY LONG, beer after beer and hot dog after hotdog. That July 4, 2008, I was at my girlfriend’s house with her parents, partying it up and having a good ‘ole time. But who knew this would be the last time I would see her face? After her house we had planned to hit up a few bars with our friends but never got there. I still do not remember getting into the car.

To this day, all I can remember is waking up in a hospital bed with her parents and my parents sitting in front of me. Her parents were yelling at mine, speaking of how horrible I was and my parents sat there in silent, my dad shaking his head. But it was not the disappointment and despair in my parents eyes that killed me the most, it was when her mom, the proclaimed “sweetest lady in the world” looked at me with hate and said, “you are a MURDERER and MAY GOD HELP YOU!” My heart sank and I stuck at the word God. Before then, I never thought about God or what God thought of me although I knew it probably wasn’t the best. I never cared about what God had planned for me but did God really want me to be a murderer?

After Belinda passed away, I went on a search to find this God. I was plagued with the title “murderer” but I knew it wasn’t what was planned for me, I knew that I was a murderer by my own hands and my hands only. I picked up the drink, I got into the car, I crashed the car It wasn’t God, it was me. It is so easy to blame the unseen then to accept our own actions. But the one above will run towards you if you walk towards him.

I am not some sheikh now but speaking from experience, we have no one to blame but ourselves for our mistakes. When we were brought on this earth by Allah we were created to return to him. Allah loves every one of his creation, it is us who chooses not to return this love. Allah wants what’s best for us and it is us who turn away. I cant say that I am still not haunted by my actions but what I know now unlike ever before is my purpose. Allah brought us here on a clean slate to return on a clean slate and seeking piety is my primary duty.

Fatimah was that girl, the big mouth. If your name had not hit her lips it would one day or another. She had no decency when it came to “telling the truth,” and has no mercy. “Your crocodile tears are not going to change the truth,” she once uttered when she saw Yasmine crying in the bathroom. Yasmine was her main target, she wasn’t the “prettiest” she wasn’t the “skinniest” and became Fatimah’s worst enemy after summer break when she decided to get closer to her deen.

“Look at her, does she think that giant shirt is going to hide her jelly rolls?” Fatimah whispered to her blood sucking posy. Yasmine usually took the blow but today was not your ordinary day, Yasmine was had a plan. The comment triggered the much needed revenge. After Yasmine heard flesh eating whisper, she turned around and said, “Fatimah, may I talk to you after class, alone?” The blood sucking posy got quiet and Fatimah stared blankly and replied, “sure” with a shrug. Yasmine, smiled and walked to class, “finally” she thought.

After class, she met with Fatimah in the courtyard alone, the perfect place to give her the perfect punch but instead gave her the perfect verse, “Fatimah, before I hated you, I hated you so much. We were friends and now I am the butt of all your jokes. But alhumduiallah, now I just feel bad for you and I pray for you. Do you not remember? Remember in Sunday School ? Remember the words of Allah or have you forgotten?” and she continued,

“woe to every (kind of) scandal-monger and-backbiter…He will be sure to be thrown into that which breaks to pieces,”

How can you just do openly mock others when you are at fault yourself? Fatimah, I didn’t call you here to get you back but to give you advise. If you don’t like me, cool, but don’t let this hate lead you to hell. As-Salamualykum” Yasmine walks away but before she was able to leave the courtyard, Fatimah calls her, “Yasmine” she pauses, “Thank You”.

Ever since Yacoub was a little boy in Kindergarten, he was always bullied. In the beginning, it used be minor things-a small shove here during recess, or pushing him a little too hard during a game of tag. It was never serious, just normal kid stuff, you know? However, it didn’t just end with the innocence of the age. The bullying became more and more serious as time went on.

As Elementary school turned into middle school, Yacoub never understood if it was his plump physique or his disheveled hair or his ‘uncool’ wardrobe or his Muslim name that attracted all the jeers. Nonethless, as years continued from childhood to teenage, the taunting became worse, the shoves became more frequent, and the bullying never ended. In a world that revolved around the social sphere, Yacoub was always friendless, lonely, and ignored but it was at moments like these that He remembered that he was not the only one- that his beloved Prophet Muhammad, salla Allahu alayhi waslam, also was abandoned as soon as he started spreading the message of Islam. Rasullullah, salla Allahu alayhi wasalam, went from being one of the most liked in his society to the most mocked as soon as he started preaching the truth. And no one had it worse than His Prophet, salla Allahu alayhi wasalam, so Yacoub took comfort and focused on his blessings.

As he grew older, Yacoub grew a beard to keep on the sunnah and began to make sure that he offered his Dhuhr salah at the library because he was still at school when the time came in. This, of course, only made things worse. From simple name calling, it now went to ‘terrorist’, ‘Osama Bin Laden’, ‘Al-Qaida freak’, ‘Moozlum Trash’, and countless other obscene things. What was worse is that among these people was a Muslim too, who went by ‘MoMo’, that joined in with his possy to make fun of him. Yacoub had no problem when it was his appearance they mocked at but when it came to his Deen being made fun of, he could feel the blood boiling in his body. He could feel his pulse quick and his veins throb due to the rage.

One day, Yacoub caught ‘MoMo’ in a sticky situation. Yacoub actually knew MoMo’s parents and knew that if they heard of what MoMo was doing, it would pretty much be the end of him. At the moment, Yacoub had the opportunity to get back at all those years of grief that MoMo and his possy had caused him. At the moment, he had the capability of turning MoMo’s world upside down. He could go around, tell everyone what he saw, tell MoMo’s parents what his son was doing, spread the word and get back at him but instead, Yacoub stopped for a second.

He remembered the incident that the Prophet, salla Allahu alayhi wasalam had at At-Taif. The Prophet, salla Allahu alayhi wasalam, had gone to the people of At-Taif to the chiefs to ask them for help on his mission, to ask for protection, but he left stoned. The chiefs of the people had asked all the children and slaves to pick up rocks and throw it at the Prophet, salla Allahu alayhi wasalam. If you wanna talk REAL bullying, THAT was bullying, no not just bulling, more than bullying- STONING. The Prophet, may peace and blessings be upon him, left…stoned. And the Angel Jibreel, alayhisalam, came to him and said that if he wanted, Allah could destroy them all, but even at that moment of pain, of suffering, of hardship, the Prophet, salla Allahu alayhi wasalam said No. When given the opportunity to get rid of them, the Prophet still said No, that maybe among those people, there would arise people that would testify that there is no diety besides Allah. Even in THAT hard of a situation, the Prophet, salla Allahu alayhi wasalam, still had it in him to forgive, subhanAllah.

And Yacoub, at this moment, had the ability to destroy this guy who had caused him so much pain for the past several years but He remembered what the best of creation, the best of examples did and walked away, forgiving him, and making dua’ for Allah to guide him. Yes, he had suffered but His Prophet, salla Allahu alayhi wasalam, went through more and if he had it in him to forgive, then Yacoub would do exactly that.

Allah, subhana wa ta’ala tells us in the Qur’an, “And verily, whosoever shows patience and forgives, that would truly be from the things recommended by Allah.” [42:43] Patience & Forgiveness. Lessons of these two qualities can be seen in the life of the Messenger, salla Allahu alayhi wasalam. Patience when times get extremely tough, patience even when mocked and jeered at, forgiveness even when you can punish, and forgiveness even when you can destroy.

& To Allah belong all things good and pure.

This is from the heart of Mariam Rahman,

“Allah never throws you deeper than you can go. He throws you from such a height where He knows yes you may fall, gain a few scratches, and open wounds, but He also knows how much sabr, tolerance and will power you have to stand back up. Yes we all complain, moan and cry saying ‘Why Me!’ but why do we forget this life is a test; Allah is making you, not breaking you. He is by your side, He is your shadow and your guiding light..” Subhan’Allah, Allah is making you .. not breaking you….

When I read this I teared up because when something bad happens to us we do tend to cry over the matter. We feel as if the world is crashing down on us. We want to run but have no where to hide. We feel neglected and burdened from all the depths that we have encountered. We start to question and ask why?.. why me? I am a good muslim alahmdillah. I do everything I can to please listening. Yes, I have made mistakes but there is not a day where I dont ask for forgiveness. The question is then answered. Answered from your heart. You know the saying that says.. “ listen to your heart, your heart is always right.” Well its true! its beyond true! Faith increases from the start of your heart. When the faith and your taqwa is so firm in the faith of Allah. Allah will get you out of the situation you are in. How you might ask? well first comes patience yes, patience. We all know that patience is one of the hardest test Allah is testing us with. But we have to be patient. tongue says in the quran. “ Ina Allah ma’a as sabireen” This verse is acually repeated several times in the quran. It is a reminder to all of us that Allah loves those who are patient. Allah never neglects those who preserve in patience. I know this is hard because we all sometimes feel pain and just want the suffering to end. Keep in mind that emotions flare up for two reasons: either for join or for inner pain. In a hadith the prophet peace be upon him said. “ verily, I have been prohbited from emitted when something favorable happens, and the other that is expressed when calamity strikes.” The quran also states. “ In order that you may not be sad over matters that you fail to get, nor rejoice because of that which has been given to you.( quran 57:23) For this reason the prophet peace be upon him said: “verily, true patience is that which is displayed during the initial shock.” You must accept what Allah has given you, and what Allah is putting you through. If you dont accept it then your rejecting what Allah has written for you. Over come what ever you are going through with a firm heart of repentance, patience and prayer. Raise your hands up to Allah ask Allah to help you. The answer might come quick or it might take time. I learned that sometimes Allah takes time to answer us not because he’s not listening but because he loves hearing his name on our tongues so he waits a little to answer our duas. Thats beautiful Allah wants to keep hearing his name over and over. Think about it as something good. The more you ask Allah and mention his name on your tongue the higher your level of jannah increases inshallah. After all our goal is to reach jannah inshallah, that is our home. Be thankful during times of ease and patient during times of hardship. Always keep in mind that Allah does not burden a soul with something greater than what he thinks he can handle. Allah does not neglect anyone when Allah is called to alone.

“ I made a right turn and found the true path of faith, that lead me to believe in the divin an decree of allah. I then keep walking on this true path of rightousness and found the inner spirit of faith in the prophet peace be upon him. I keep walking and walking and finally broke down on the way I lost myself alittle but then found the quran lying on the dusty shelf. I picked it up and read until my eyes blurred with tears that I could no longer see the verses of the quran. I keep walking and walking. Bumps stumbled in my way but I never let my conqure defeat me, instead I conqured my defeat until I reached my destiny of patience.”

-Fatimah Rafati

Ibrahim had it all- the Mazarati, the fully paid college tuiton at Yale plus thousands of extra for those ‘just in case’ moments, a room quadruple the size of a normal bedroom and pretty much every game you could think of-piled high in a nice cabinet right beneath his Plasma Tv. He was living the life. He was naturally smart so he didn’t have to pore over books like most people did- O Chem was a breeze-at Yale…that says something. Weekends consisted of driving with his possy to NYC, skipping Friday classes so they can get there by night to catch all the parties at the hottest clubs- you know, living like a high class G.

He would always think to himself, how could anyone want anything else when you had the cash, had the cars, had the looks, and had girls on every arm? Who would ever WANT anything else. To say he was consumed by the glitter and pizzazz of this dunya was probably an understatement.

Fast forwarding a couple of years, Ibrahim graduated from Yale and went on to Harvard law school and graduated from there to get an epic job at a law firm in NYC. His life style was still the same. Money, money, money, work, girls, and repeat. One day the law firm that he had worked at fired him. He, Ibrahim, the one who always had it all got fired? It couldn’t be. Within a matter of time, his cash in his bank account started to diminish and within several months, there was not much left at all. This guy who had it all went from living the life to a bum- job less, homeless, and most of all speech less. It was too strange to him. He had graduated from Harvard, he had a degree, yet everywhere he went in search of, he got denied. He just was denied. This was not just a coincidence though- this was a sign from Allah to Ibrahim that he was too attached. For too long, he had been way too attached to the glitter and those that are ungrateful and caught up in the pazzazz, Allah can erase all that they had within a matter of seconds. When you forget where came from,

“Wealth and children are [but] adornment of the worldly life. But the enduring good deeds are better to your Lord for reward and better for [one's] hope.” [18:46]

Those who get caught up in the race of dunya with the desire for always ‘more, more, and more” might get their share in the dunya but there may not be anything waiting for them in the Akhira. Remember that the word “dunya” itself in Arabic means ‘that which is temporary’ and realizing this lesson and attaining this mindset can be one of the greatest epiphanies that one can have. Because when you realize this, every race for that car or for that new opportunity for ‘bling’ or for a bigger house and a better something if sacrificed in place of Deen will seem futile. Because the believer knows that there is something better than Camaro’s and mansions, something better than heaping bank accounts and the glitter of gold and diamons: Allah and his Jannah.

So why work for a shadow that will pass than for an eternity that will forever last? Akhirah > Dunya, all ways. 

Amina was poor. And no, not the people who don’t get the new i-pod and claim the title, but poor; she didn’t have the newest clothes, or the newest technology, she was lucky if the interne was on at home. But she had a dream, she wanted to be a cardiologist and not just any but the best. Her dad has suffered from a massive heart attached when she was five years old and passed away (inna lillahi wa inna alayhi rajioon). Every breath, every drop of sweat, every tear, every thought was in trying to accomplish this goal.

Her dream was slowly becoming a reality. All that was left was the interview but there was just one problem, money. This was going to be the biggest interview of her life and she only had her old business suit from her college interview in her closet and fifty cents to her name. One day when she got home from school, she went into her room and took out some old credit card mail and just stared at them, she has collected the mail since she was 18 but this was the first time she thought about using the. She could solve her problem with one swipe.

She thought and thought, trying to justify her actions. Education is important in Islam and getting these clothes will help her advance her education BUT riba is a sin in Islam and this was not something she wanted on her shoulder, it was not something she wanted to be questioned about on the day of judgment. Her interview was the next day and she had to decide, to swipe or not to swipe?

She knew the answer.

That night, she went to the masjid and made dua that she would be accepted into the medical school. When she finished her mother’s friend came up to her, “Salam, Amina, I am getting rid of some old clothes, would you like to look at them?” she asked.  Amina remained silent and smiled, “sure, inshallah”. Before Amina followed the sister to look at the clothes, she ran back into the masjid, looked to the ceiling, “Thank you Allah, you are my only provider”, she said with a tear running down her cheek.

“And put thy trust in Allah and enough is Allah as a disposer of affairs” 33:3